The Season?

The Season?

As I sit here this morning ready to embark on the highlight of the holidays my mind went to considering what this season means to different people. I have been receiving messages for the past week from so many people of thankfulness and appreciation. 

In working with so many people there are also many message groups I subscribe to through my email accounts, which also give me the benefit of watching thoughts exchange between people. In watching the excitement and the appreciation of others it can serve you to become more appreciative yourself, if you are so inclined. 

In receiving these messages of gratitude and many photos of everything from children's choir services to a photo of a friend and his newborn son a couple of days ago it can easily allow you to participate in the joy of the season, If you are so inclined.

You may ask yourself why my thoughts of appreciation listed above continue to offer a reservation of "If you are so inclined" and that is where my mind wandered to this morning as I thought about the appreciation I truly have for this year. I am not only aware of but have been often guilty of in the past of being very disappointed as I look back at this time of year. In being able to set goals and achieve them I have often been guilty of finding lack as I examine what I may have left undone as well. 

This time of year usually gives us a little more down time to examine where our lives did and did not take the shapes we desired for this previous year. As we participate in the activities of the season and outwardly express appreciation, thankfulness and celebration there is often a silent killer lingering quietly behind the curtain ready for a few moments of solitude and attempt to take us into a space of what we did not accomplish this year. I read a second hand message like this one yesterday that at first really bothered me because I did not expect it from the person who had been pulled behind this curtain of doubt but then I remembered how often I have slipped into that same space myself.

This past week I shared some ideas that came to me regarding goal setting as this is also the time of year where people who are intent on getting and giving more in life tend to reflect and build lists of things they want to do bigger and better than ever before. There will be a percentage of people who will write down goals, resolutions, dreams and desires that will raise their spirits and make them examine how to just be better versions of themselves this year. I know that these are the people who truly make the world go around because they create and determine the process of all change in this world. Often these same people are looked at as peculiar because their ambitions are often seen as unreasonable or even beyond reach to others around them. This is encouraging to me as I think of it because it reminds me of George Bernard Shaw's quote "The reasonable man adapt's himself to the world where the unreasonable man adapt's the world to himself, therefore all progress is mad by the unreasonable man." 

In examining the percentage of the world who enters into this behavior of desiring excellence, it is a much smaller one than I think it should be. I understand my own necessity for dreams, goals and ambitions and making a choice to not have them or dream of them would seem suffocating at best in my life. It is an imperative to dream and think big for our lives in order to see the opportunity to stretch ourselves and become the work of magnificent creation we were intended to become. There is much to write about the missing element of dreaming and goals setting in the world but I would choose to focus on the smaller percentage of those who do set goals and what 2 challenges they often find still standing in their way. It is commendable to see people take action in their lives and when people do it encourages others to do the same so in an effort to encourage this activity I want to help by sharing a couple of pitfalls I have seen slip into even the most commendable lives of people I know who are sincerely trying to be the best they can with their choices.

The first challenge I see taking place as we examine the past year is one of reviewing accomplishments and instead of often seeing what we did well, we instead see what we left undone. When checking off the list of goals from last year, it seems that no matter how much we may have accomplished, experienced and learned our attention is always drawn to what we did not do or left unchecked. There are so many things which appear to us throughout the course of a year which serve us to learn and grow and be wiser with future decisions but it seems that our lack of attention and appreciation for it often allows it to escape us. 

We are taught in the principle of "The Secret" that what we focus on becomes our reality. We are taught in "think and grow rich" What the mind can conceive and believe the will can achieve. In spiritual text this teaching remains prevalent of "what we focus our hearts desires on....", countless messages on faith and belief..., parables of talents used and talents wasted..

All around us it stands to be evident that if we choose to focus our thoughts and desires in a direction that direction always seems to present itself so why in the world would I want to focus on lack? Need? failure? whats missing? whats left undone? what has not been accomplished? It seems to be clear that if my mind is focused on absence I am only creating an attitude and belief system centered on not accomplishing.

If we think about the small percentage of people in the world who are choosing to build goals and dream lists this time of year. How many of those same people are building those lists from what they did great this year verses how many are focused on what they left undone, whats missing or what will be made better next year?

When focusing on our dreams and desires to be better is done incorrectly, this good intention of building goals is often doing more harm than good. The more I focus on where I failed instead of succeeded the more I am reinforcing the possibility of failure. This is not an advocation to place our heads in the sand but rather it is an advocation to find the positive that exists in EVERYTHING.  All aspects of life contain the ability to find what is useful and contributory to future success IF ONLY WE ARE INCLINED!

There are many verses of scriptural text which mean a lot to me but one of my all time favorites was when James wrote and said "to count it ALL joy" the more we find negatives the more we are building negatives but the more we find joy the more we are building joy. There are times when this thought is of great consolation to me and there are times where even when I know it is the truth, I see people who have faced such tragedy that there seems to be no consolation. The pain people feel in the face of great loss is only made bearable with the time, support and love of others but in the moment often finding the joy is unimaginable. I am not asking anyone in these situations to be burdened with a sense of failure when they are not finding the joy of ALL in periods of tragedy in life but rather it becomes much more imperative that we be surrounded by people who are in the select small percentage to hold us up when we are in these spaces of our lives so we may only return to once again search for joy at a later time.

As you hopefully set your goals and build dreams from this past year I encourage you to look at the calendar, month by month and week by week to find the things you really enjoyed and were thankful for. Make a list of how to improve on these things and make the desires of your heart more prevalent that last year and the list you are building will be focused on what you did well, what you will do better and completely avoid the downfalls of negative focus while attempting a positive future. Look for all of the opportunities and experiences where you learned and grew and make more room in your future for these activities. Think of the times you celebrated and cared for others in your life and make an effort to become more present in creating these times in your future. Do not get focused on regrets or whats missing because it only robs you of the opportunity to be truly present TODAY.

Yesterday is a memory and tomorrow is a dream but today is an opportunity to become all we want to become!

The second challenge we often find ourselves is the truly silent killer of our future success. It is the most common element of all human beings when failing to meet their dreams, goals and ambitions. It is well known and rarely recognized and we know it as Blame. All that exists in my life exists because of ME. No one chose to go where I have gone, done what have done, thought what I thought except ME. I often see people making lists of goals and the discussions held with them are often littered with the largest killer of future success known as BLAME.

I struggle with my observations of this more than any other item in human development. I see the nuances of positives over negatives but any choice of blame always eliminates ALL opportunity for improvement. As soon as I allow myself to believe that I have no control then I can never resolve the issue. Any statement that supports this thought is one that destroys my future of succeeding. I cannot for the life of me imagine why good people make such bad choices like choosing to think that any situation they find themselves in is the responsibility of anyone other than them self. I heard it said one time that ALL conflict exists inside of me. The proof is that all of the challenges I perceive in life around me would die with me if I were to die tomorrow so the choice to resolve conflict must be inside of me as well. 

I see well meaning, well intentioned people allowing this killer into their thoughts, their words, their actions and most certainly their results. I was just reading the observations someone took the time to write out for their past year. I was amazed at the thought and energy placed into developing such an account of their past year and what they had left UNDONE. I was just as surprised at how many opportunities to place blame on associations, limitations, tools available and others in general. When I read it at first I felt frustration for someone with such a  poor choice of outlook but it did not take long for those feelings to give way to pity. I imagined that same feeling we have all felt of being trapped inside and really believing that the answer was somewhere other than inside of me. When will somebody else fix my life?!!

That angst of why do people not see what is happening to me! I realized that although the statements were in complete error,  the feeling of frustration must be giving them a false sense of validity through blaming others. This topic can be written on forever but the simple answer is that your life is your own and your choices are your own. Do what you like but above all take responsibility and you will be empowered to change it. Neglect responsibility even in the vaguest way and you choose to empower your certain struggle with success.

I have always had a coupe of real good tips that help me overcome the challenge of responsibility. The first tip is look around you. If even one other person is able to accomplish in the situation then that proves it is acheivable. The only question left is can I choose to achieve it? It seems easy to want to associate myself with lots of others who may be struggling but what good does that do me? I simply choose to be among the successful ones. I am a small percentage but this rule will always keep me there and I will always refuse to be among the many.

The second rule is cultivating my culture. There are people I CHOOSE to be around every day and every day I examine how they support me in my search to be among the few, the creators, the successful the unreasonable. I will not go lightly into the darkness of mediocrity but rather I choose to lead myself and others into the light of accomplishment. It is imperative that we select organizations, environments and  relationships that build us to accept responsibility and be among the few. The Pareto Principle teaches that 80% of the world creates 20% of the results while the other 20% create 80% of the results. I choose to be among the few and help change the world and see the minority of positive focus become larger each day and create larger change for the good.

I look at the people I work with daily and my honest desire is to be among the few that want to change the world for the better. The only way I can do this is to accept responsibility for my life and help others to do the same. To focus on whats working and not whats broke. Amplifying positives will create results and get the attention of others. When I slip and choose to do some things that prevent some of the goals I wished to obtain then the question I should ask is "What good came form that?"

Vic Johnson used to say that when he was in business he made some really large mistakes and it was just ten years later that many companies were paying him large sums of money to help prevent them from making those same mistakes!

Dennis Waitley speaks of losing his home in search of building a new business and moved on to say over and over that "Failure is the fertilizer of Success"

I can choose to find blame and distance from the solutions of my life or I can choose to know it is all about me choosing to think right. Surrounding myself with opportunities to be surrounded by others who think right. My job is to be thankful this season and count it all joy. 

I know that everyone out there reading this message has much to be thankful for. I know this message was read on your computer, if not one of several you own. I know that the electricity which powered that computer is up and running to comfort your life. I know that the internet provider you subscribe to is paid and running and this is a luxury. I know that these creature comforts indicate a life that is able to be thankful. I also know that someone shared the opportunity for you to be connected to this message and that tells me that someone cared about you and what you get in this life.

I am very confident that there is someone very close to you right now if not in the next room waiting for you to choose to be positive and accept responsibility. It may be the greatest lesson of their life and they are watching you, just as they are watching me. I hope this end of year season gives you the strength of character to accept responsibility and share it with those around you. It was never any situation that we find ourselves in but rather it was the self we finally understood to find with power in the situation.

May God bless and Happy Holidays

Enjoy the Search,

Brian Dugger

What Street am I on?

Chapter 1 of my life I walk down the street and there is a deep hole in the sidewalk, I fall in, I am lost, I am helpless it isn't my fault, It takes forever to find a way out. 

Chapter 2 of my life I walk down the same street, there's a deep hole in the sidewalk, I pretend I don't see it, I fall in again, I can't believe I'm in the same place but it isn't my fault and it still takes a long time to get out. 

Chapter 3 I walk down the same street, there's a big hole in the sidewalk, I see it there, I still fall in, it's a habit, my eyes are open, I know where I am, It is my fault I get out immediately. 

Chapter 4 of my life I walk down the same street there's a deep hole in the sidewalk I walk around it. 

Chapter 5 of my life I walk down a different street.

Conduit to Greatness or mediocre existence

Thoughts for the day...

I was discussing some things with a friend of mine the other day and as the discussion unfolded there were some cool concepts that helped clarify an outlook on life for me so I thought to take a few minutes and share them with others. 

It was a little while back that a chiropractor wanted to join our company as a franchisee in spite of his struggling finances  he found a way to move forward and he sent in a check to attend our next official HealthSource training for new franchisees. 

While in attendance at this HealthSource training we realized some really large financial challenges that would likely prevent him from even operating/affording in the basic mechanics and systems we were teaching him to put in place. After the realization was made by us it was discussed by every one on our team that the best thing to do was to refund his check and not sign the contract but instead offer to help him over the next 6 months to overcome some of his challenges and create a healthier practice which might allow him to reapply and become a franchisee at a later date. 

This is something we typically do not do with anyone outside our company but since he had made it so far in the vetting process before we were made fully aware of his circumstances we agreed it would be a fair position to take with him and try to help him overcome. My friend Jim has been holding review calls on his progress to advise and examine his results and in the process his practice grew over the first few months. The other morning Jim was telling me that over the past two months it has started to recede and he was pretty bummed about it. 

During our discussion Jim told me he was meeting with him later that day to discuss the situation and I thought I would give a few ideas to Jim to help clarify. The first thing that popped in my head was that life and who we are is a lot like a conduit. A conduit is a piece of pipe or channel through which things can flow. If you look at the plumbing in your house and examine the pipes the water flows through you will find some interesting things. When the pipe is new and clean and smooth on the inside it works at its best. If you allow just a trickle of water into the one end it will easily flow through to the other end but as time passes and stuff keeps flowing some natural occurrences take place. There is a build up over time and little by little you will see sediment growing and increasing to build on the walls of the pipes. The greater the sediment and build up the smaller the channel is to allow proper flow and the more pressure we have to turn on to create a steady out put. 

This seems a little like life to me.

Our life continues with each and every passing experience and day and as time goes on we put a lot of things into our conduit and push it through. The challenge is that a lot of the "stuff" we pass through our own personal lives and channels leaves junk and sediment on the walls. Over time the junk and sediment builds up and our ability to flow through life with enjoyment seems to slow down or become harder to create what once seemed a little easier. The key in my opinion as I told Jim is a big dump of drano into this thing we call life!

How do we learn to clean out the pipes and create a healthy channel for us to allow great work, great creation, great relationships and great impact to flow through every one of us?

I am a really big believer in the proper basic blocks of each and every day and have been for quite a while now because I know it works. 

Let me give you an example.....

The foundation of every single day is Block 1 or Interval 1 depending on your choice of terminology. In this first block of the day we are choosing to either prepare for greatness or launch ourselves into mediocrity. Every morning I awake to take some time to exercise and listen to some great teachers. I know that all the things I know today is the result of what I have learned and all that want to be tomorrow is the result of what I add to what I know through continuing to learn. Many people seem to make it through school and somehow think that learning is no longer a responsibility. It just depends on what you want your life to stand for or not stand for. Each day I focus on listening to lectures from great teachers and achievers because I want t add to my knowledge base. Some days I repeat some of the audio teachings in my collection over and over again on my iPhone because the content is just so empowering. In the first block it is important to me that I find peace, knowledge and passion to make each and every day count. For these reasons it is a daily choice that I listen to many different teachers. I also choose to just be quiet for a few minutes and think or not think as the case may be to clear my mind. I also know to focus and be appreciative of all the opportunities I have and thankful for the new ones I will have that day. In this first block I am preparing myself to launch into the day with passion and purpose and therefore expecting my impact to be larger than the average human being. 

The second building block of the day is the walls or Block 2. This is what I often refer to as the "small game". Every one has "work" to do each day and "task lists" to complete but these items are only as good as the person who is choosing to do them.  The more prepared a person is to tackle the day with a solid mindset then the better the days accomplishments will naturally be. It is a firm belief I hold that if I can find gratitude for what I am doing then I will be given more opportunity. If I can also be willing to work at growing and seeking purpose and skill I will succeed at those same opportunities. The combination of these two things will create more opportunity for me to try new things and evolve to a higher level.

The third and final block of each day is Block 3 or the roof. This is the simple sharing and enjoyment of the days accomplishments with people you care for. It is a time to celebrate and be at peace with a days great work.  Relax, unwind, communicate and be open with those you love. Turn off the TV and just talk for a bit about what was really cool today. Tomorrow will bring new opportunities but each opportunity we will have is completely dependent on how we handled talents and tasks we have already been gifted with. Be responsible with the chances you have and more will be given to you. ;-)

John Maxwell often says that he lives his life by the bookends of the day which is simply two questions....

First question in the morning when I wake "Today, Who can I add value to and how will I do it?"

The last question of the day "Today, who did I add value to and how did I do it?"

The centering of these two questions is creating a cognizance or recognition of finding purpose and passion for making change in the world and that is why we were all created. Our happiness and prosperity is directly related to how we succeed at helping others around us succeed and these 3 blocks are critical to that search.

Back to my conversation with Jim about that doctor.... I told Jim that sometimes when we have outside circumstances create excitement or energy in our lives it sometimes causes us to turn up the flow of our work, energy and sometimes results. The challenge is that if the conduit that is our lives has junk from the past or bad learning on the walls it is restricting the flow of our creation. Imagine going to a Tony Robbins event and getting excited and coming back the next week to turn up the pressure and create great results. Imagine making a new goal or resolution to do the same. Imagine hearing a great teaching at a seminar or online and getting motivated temporarily. Imagine someone taking time to coach you and examine your choices to help you grow. Those are all cool things and good things but don't we want to get to a point that no matter how high the pressure is turned up or turned down we are always producing because we are focused on keeping our lives clean from junk and sediment?

Zig Ziglar said it best when he was asked one time If motivation ever wears off? and to that question he answered that it most certainly did and that is why he recommended it daily!

The same goes for learning!

Building Block number one is necessary for all of us to clean out the old and wrong ways of thinking out and that is why we should do it daily. I love listening to guys like John Maxwell, Jim Rohn, Wayne Dyer, Brian Tracy, Ram Dass, Deepak Chopra and the list of great teachers that can go on and on. I am a very regular customer of the itunes store and audible.com because I want a huge library to learn from.. 

EVERY day I want to listen and learn new ideas because block number two is the work but the effort is only as good as the worker. The talented and educated worker is built in block number one. I am often found sharing these principles with others because it is absolutely true that those who schedule time every day to be better and more successful will be. Make a schedule that allows you some time alone in the morning, time to learn in the morning, time to think in the morning and time to exercise in the morning. Your time could be 30 minutes if you plan it and for some it is as much as two hours every morning but for those who just launch into the work of each day they will usually find frustration, exhaustion and results that represent what they currently know and what they currently plan for each day.

I asked Jim what would it be like if I sent Wayne Dyer to your house for two hours every morning for one month to talk about life and think about ideas?

I asked Jim what would it be like if I sent Deepak Chopra the second month to your house for two hours every morning to talk about life and think about ideas?

I asked Jim what would it be like if I sent Jim Rohn the third month to your house for two hours every morning to talk about life and think about ideas?

Do you think you would be more powerful? 

More Motivated? 

More Inspired? 

More at peace with life? 

Able to accomplish more?

That is just like dumping drano into our conduit and cleaning the junk off the walls. All we have to do to be great is decide to be great, so take the time each day to plan a schedule that you follow towards greatness. Ideas are plentiful! Ted talks, motivation on you tube, inspirational teachers, audio books and the list goes on forever when you start looking. If you have made it through my LENGTHY post today then I know you are searching for something better so why not start today and build a personal calendar dedicated to greatness. Get up a little earlier and make greatness happen.

My final thought to share is that when you have figured out this is true by doing it in your life, please share it with others and help them stop living in their mediocrity as well. We all have natural talents and can produce with our lives but raw talent versus focused and developed talent always has a different impact on the world around us.

As Zig also once said "you can have anything you want if you can help enough other people get what they want"

Help yourself and then be passionate about helping others and results will always follow. I PROMISE.

Have a great life!

What we learn when we are young we seem to often forget...

Oh, the Places You'll Go!

by

Dr. Seuss

Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away!

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go.

You'll look up and down streets. Look 'em over with care.
About some you will say, "I don't choose to go there."
With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet,
you're too smart to go down any not-so-good street.

And you may not find any
you'll want to go down.
In that case, of course,
you'll head straight out of town.

It's opener there
in the wide open air.

Out there things can happen
and frequently do
to people as brainy
and footsy as you.

And then things start to happen,
don't worry. Don't stew.
Just go right along.
You'll start happening too.

OH!
THE PLACES YOU'LL GO!

You'll be on your way up!
You'll be seeing great sights!
You'll join the high fliers
who soar to high heights.

You won't lag behind, because you'll have the speed.
You'll pass the whole gang and you'll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you'll be best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don't.
Because, sometimes, you won't.

I'm sorry to say so
but, sadly, it's true
that Bang-ups
and Hang-ups
can happen to you.

You can get all hung up
in a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on.
You'll be left in a Lurch.

You'll come down from the Lurch
with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then,
that you'll be in a Slump.

And when you're in a Slump,
you're not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself
is not easily done.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. But mostly they're darked.
A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And IF you go in, should you turn left or right...
or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite?
Or go around back and sneak in from behind?
Simple it's not, I'm afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused
that you'll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles cross weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place...

...for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or the waiting around for a Yes or No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for the wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.

NO!
That's not for you!

Somehow you'll escape
all that waiting and staying
You'll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing.

With banner flip-flapping,
once more you'll ride high!
Ready for anything under the sky.
Ready because you're that kind of a guy!

Oh, the places you'll go! There is fun to be done!
There are points to be scored. There are games to be won.
And the magical things you can do with that ball
will make you the winning-est winner of all.
Fame! You'll be as famous as famous can be,
with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.

Except when they don't
Because, sometimes they won't.

I'm afraid that some times
you'll play lonely games too.
Games you can't win
'cause you'll play against you.

All Alone!
Whether you like it or not,
Alone will be something
you'll be quite a lot.

And when you're alone, there's a very good chance
you'll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won't want to go on.

But on you will go
though the weather be foul.
On you will go
though your enemies prowl.
On you will go
though the Hakken-Kraks howl.
Onward up many
a frightening creek,
though your arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak.

On and on you will hike,
And I know you'll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are.

You'll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You'll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life's
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)

KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!

So...
be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea,
You're off the Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So...get on your way!

Lets try to remember it this time.

Monopoly Money

Monopoly Money

I was looking over a couple of businesses this morning and the overhead they are running with and it made me think about what is the proper overhead for any business. There are formulas and equations that we study to understand the right percentages or the proper allocations but I think it is really much larger than just a formula. I work with hundreds of business owners every week to examine the development of their investments. The underlying theme always remains the same for each one of them; "Your business is a reflection of you" 

There are so many bills in this game called life that we get lost from time to time in the shuffle. We have light bills, water bills, food bills, family bills, house bills, car bills and if I kept going it might begin to depress many of you reading this so I will choose to stop right there. The challenge of keeping up with all that is "normal" in todays world can become overwhelming if we allow it to. I work in HealthCare which is definitely a world of rising costs on all fronts. The more that the federal government attempts to study and "help" the system the more regulations seem to evolve. New requirements of every health care provider to track and monitor everything from the entrance signature of the patient, paperwork, disclosures, regulations that keep changing all the way to the electronic records now being mandated for reporting/monitoring purposes. These mandated helps and regulations are creating higher costs to the health providers which will always be paid by the patients in the end.

Since this is the world I work in most of the time it is important for me to remember how and where to focus attention in order to have the most impact on every day. One thing I started to think about this morning was that I know many Doctors working all over the country with completely different overheads. There are some similarities because of the work they do but less than you might think. There should be approximate number of team members for each business depending on the volume of patients they see but not as common as you might think. There should be commonality on floor space depending on the size of the practice but again not as often as you would think. There should be similarities of personal salaries and expenses but actually this is far from true. When we look at each business there should be a way to see commonality between all offices that are seeing 600 visits per month but we do not. There should be the same for all offices who see 800 visits per month but we still do not. There should be the same picture of expense with offices that each see 1000 patients per month but it always seems to be moving back and forth. 

This is in my opinion one of our greatest challenges in any business; understanding how to create a budget that is not completely negotiable depending on circumstances. As a business owner it is imperative that you MUST be familiar with what it cost you to run your business each month and you must also become so intimate that you are always searching for ways to improve. When you hear of someone accomplishing the same thing for less, your immediate question is How? What more is there for me to learn?

I find that one of the most common issues is when business owners turn a blind eye to what they are spending forgetting that it is simply a way to measure how to be better at your chosen opportunity in LIFE. 

Now please do not get me wrong as this is not all about cost cutting to achieve results in fact it is not even close to that. I know business owners who have a twenty thousand dollar overhead each month and are barely getting by (in fact most). I also know many business owners who have forty, sixty, eighty and a hundred thousand dollars per month in overhead and many are doing incredible with a hundred thousand a month in expenses where others may struggle at the same level. This teaches me that the answer is not in a number but rather in each one of us. I was emailing a Doctor this morning and asking him not to make a business move which would increase his rent by more than double each month from what he currently pays but that same move would likely increase his monthly new patients by double as well. I informed him that I was not against this investment of money as a whole but I was against it at this time for him specifically. I told him my reasoning as to what I thought his next step was in building his business and where he should focus attention right now and look at opportunities like this one when the timing is right.  

As I thought about his decision another email popped into me of a Doctor who was struggling with some expenses and he was really frustrated and then my mind drifted thinking of what is this all really about. One Business owner who has a larger overhead questioning to raise it for the better of his business, another business owner with a smaller overhead questioning to lower it for the betterment of his business. The difference in each case was simply the individual. 

I drifted for a moment and began to think about playing Monopoly as a kid. I loved the game by Parker Brothers. It was all about choosing your piece to go around the board as you accumulated real estate and monopoly money in hopes to win the game by gathering the most of both. I would always try to be the top hat because I assumed it was the best as it was the hat the banker would wear. I would do my best to buy up real estate, houses and hotels in hopes of charging others on the board rent and killing them all off to win the game! I would angle and barter and do all that was possible to always get ahead in this game and today I realized that the similarities of owning a business are very much like monopoly. In fact as I thought on the topic today, Life in general is actually very similar to Monopoly.

To begin the game of LIFE we have to choose what token we want t represent us. Do we want to the banker? The real estate agent? The doctor? The plumber? The therapist? What am I going to choose to call myself and do with my LIFE which will allow me to win at this game called LIFE? 

Where will I go to School? Will I go to school?

Where will I go to church? Will I go to church?

Where will I buy a house? Will I buy a house?

Who will I marry?

Will I have kids?

Where will I work?

What friends will I choose?

Each one of us in the game of Life is choosing our habits and our outlooks every day. Have you ever played a game like monopoly and you were bothered by the way others you were playing with were acting. You know what I mean when some people get real aggressive to win or others act as if they do not care as much. You end up making your choices to play games in the future based on how it was playing with these people in the past. In Life we often see the same things from different people and yet we often continue subjecting our chances of winning to the same positives or negatives. 

In fact as I mention the possible chances of seeing negatives in others it remind me that in order to see those negatives they had to first be seen by ME. I was listening to a teacher this morning who said that the more you can find reasons and blame for others when examining your life the further you are traveling from the truth. He taught as I have heard many others teach that my perceptions of the world are just that, they are MY perceptions. I was told one time that if I died tomorrow all of the issues and conflicts I have would die with me because they only live in me. To really understand this concept is the greatest gift I have ever been given. I have seen "issues" all my life and I have always been a solution finder. In fact I was often amazed at the power many people would give to others over their lives. When a person would tell me of how frustrated they were that so and so did this or acted a certain way. I would see people become overly outraged that someone else made a statement they disagreed with and my thought was simply why are you so caught up in it when you can choose to just not accept it if you do not like it. The focus on negative energy always creates negative energy. The focus on Positive energy always creates the same.

It was easy for me to see when others were allowing the conflicts "they chose" to rule their lives but it was not always as easy for me to see when I allowed them to do the same thing to me. As I was thinking about monopoly this morning it reminded me that the focus of this life is not how much we accumulate or purchase. Life is a game to be played and understood because it is simply about understanding ourselves and those who are playing the game with us. It is about being aware of what you want to be and what you want to change in you and in the world. The more we focus on blaming and pointing the less time is spent understanding ourselves and the responsibilities we have. 

I recently told an audience I was speaking to that as I look back on my childhood I can remember distinct chapters in my life. Ask me about when I was 6 years old and very real pictures come to mind about where I lived, how I looked and certain events in that year. The same would hold true for when I was seven years old, eight, nine and so on. I think most people can relate to this idea that if their life was broken down by years in chapters we could literally read the story of our lives. The challenge we often face is that when we reach adulthood there is a routine we often slip into. A pattern that hold less excitement than that we held as children seeking Life. It seems as if the story becomes repetitive and that is our biggest challenge of all. Can you imagine reading a book and chapter after chapter that was full of something new and challenging just like it was when we grew up. Imagine that after reading many of the chapters you came to one in the book that was exactly the same as the chapter you had just read. Immediately you would think it was a typo and as you turn to the next chapter to continue it would be really odd if it was the exact same as the previous two chapters. In fact you would most likely stop reading the book at that moment and who could blame you. Our job is to make sure that this book which is our Life remains fresh and new for all of the days we live. Not falling into routine and existence to repeat the same story year after year after year. 

Our Life is not about overhead or bills, obstacles or complaining, it is about being dedicated to learning, growing and giving to others with everything we have. To lose sight of this fact even for a moment is to start repeating the chapters of our life in an endless circle. The difference in every business owners life is not overhead but rather outlook. The way we follow through each day on the opportunities we have will always create or dismantle future opportunities. The way we appreciate each day will always give us more or give us less. The way we care for others will allow us more great relationships in life or less. Our business is simply a reflection of who we are. In fact our LIFE is simply a reflection of who we are and who we choose to be. If we want our overhead to be in check it is about us doing the things we know we left undone today.

Choose well and be thankful!

Deepak Chopra Shares "How to Handle Difficult People"

How to Handle Difficult People

August 22, 2013 

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The path to success can be derailed by clashes with difficult people, and even if the clash isn't disastrous, it can make your life very unpleasant. Everyone has a store of coping mechanisms that we resort to when we find ourselves in stressful situations. Difficult people force us to fall back on our coping mechanisms. Some of us placate, others confront. Some balk, others become aggressive. When these first-response tactics don't work, when a difficult person makes you tear your hair out in total frustration, you have to dig deeper into yourself and find a better strategy.

First of all, not every difficult person is the same. There are tyrants, curmudgeons, aggressors, the viciously competitive, and control freaks. A psychologist can outline how each beast might be tamed, but on a day-to-day basis, one can adopt a general approach that's the same. It's quite a simple strategy, actually, based on asking three questions.

1. Can I change the situation?

2. Do I have to put up with it instead?

3. Should I just walk away?

When you ask these questions in a rational frame of mind, you will be able to formulate a workable approach that is consistent and effective. Most people are prisoners of inconsistency. Think about the most difficult person in your life and how you have reacted to them over time. You'll probably find that you sometimes put up with them, sometimes try to get them to change, and other times simply want to stay away. In other words, three tactics have merged in a messy way. You wind up sending mixed messages, and that's never effective.

So let's consider each of the three questions in turn.

1. Can I change the situation?

Not all difficult people are beyond change, even though they are stubborn and stuck in their behavior. But there's a cardinal rule here that can't be ignored. No one changes unless he wants to. Difficult people rarely want to. If you have a close rapport with the person, you might find a moment when you can sit down and have a candid discussion about the things that frustrate you. But be prepared with an exit strategy, because if your difficult person winds up resenting you for poking your nose where it doesn't belong, trying to effect change can seriously backfire.

Your best chance of creating change occurs if the following things are present.

- You have a personal connection with the person.

- You have earned his respect.

- You've discreetly tested the waters and found her a bit open to change.

- You've received signals that he wants to change.

- You aren't afraid or intimidated.

- The two of you are fairly equal in power. If the difficult person is in a dominant position, such as being your boss, your status is too imbalanced.

A final caveat. Difficult people aren't going to change just to make you feel better. The worst chance of getting someone else to change occurs when you're so angry, frustrated, and fed up that you lose your composure and demand change.

2. Do I have to put up with it instead?

When you can't change a situation, only two options remain, either put up with it or walk away. Most of us aren't very effective in getting someone else to change, so we adapt in various ways. We are experts at putting up with things. Adaptation isn't bad per se; social life depends upon getting along with one another. It's a reasonable assumption that if you have difficult people in your life right now - and who doesn't? - you've learned to adapt. The real question is whether you are coping in a healthy or unhealthy way.

Look at the following lists and honestly ask yourself how well you are putting up with your difficult person.

Unhealthy:

- I keep quiet and let them have their way. It's not worth fighting over.

- I complain behind their backs.

- I shut down emotionally.

- I don't say what I really mean half the time, for fear of getting into trouble or losing control.

- I subtly signal my disapproval.

- I engage in endless arguments that no one wins.

- I have symptoms of stress (headache, knots in the stomach, insomnia, depression, and anxiety) but have decided to grin and bear it.

- I know i want to get out of this situation, but I keep convincing myself that I have to stick it out.

- I indulge in fantasies of revenge.

Healthy -

- I assess what works best for me and avoid what doesn't.

- I approach the difficult person as rationally as possible.

- I don't get into emotional drama with them.

- I make sure I am respected by them. I keep my dignity.

- I can see the insecurity that lies beneath the surface of their bad behavior.

- I don't dwell on their behavior. I don't complain behind their backs or lose sleep.

- I keep away from anyone who can't handle the situation, the perpetual complainers, gossips, and connivers.

- My interaction with the difficult person has no hidden agenda, like revenge. We are here for mutual benefit, not psychodrama.

- I know I can walk away whenever I have to, so I don't feel trapped.

- I can laugh behind this person's back. I'm not intimidated or afraid.

- I feel genuine respect and admiration for what's good in this person.

If your approach contains too many unhealthy ingredients, you shouldn't stick around. You're just rationalizing a hopeless situation. Your relationship with your difficult person isn't productive for either of you.

3. Should I just walk away?

Difficult people generally wind up alone, embattled, and bitter. They create too much stress, and one by one, everyone in their lives walks away. But it can take an agonizingly long time to make this decision. The problem is attachment. The abused wife who can't leave her violent husband, the worker who is afraid he can't find another job, the underling who serves as a doormat for his boss - in almost every instance their reason for staying is emotional. Life isn't meant to be clinically rational. Emotions are a rich part of our lives, and it's mature to take the bitter with the sweet - up to a point.

Too many people stick around when they shouldn't. The main exceptions are competitive types, who can't bear to be dominated or made to look bad. They instinctively run away from situations that hurt their self-image. The other main personality types - dependent and controlling - will put up with a bad situation for a long time, far beyond what's healthy. The point, in practical terms, is that you can't wait until you've resolved all your issues with a difficult spouse, boss, boyfriend, buddy, colleague, or employee. Vacillation doesn't make you a better or nicer person. You are treading water, hoping that the dreaded day will never come when you have to sever ties. The thought of separation causes you anxiety.

But as anxious as you feel, sometimes a rupture is the healthiest thing you can do. That’s the case if you have honestly confronted questions 1 and 2. If you know the difficult person isn't going to change, and if you've examined the unhealthy and healthy choices involved in putting up with them, you have a good foundation for making the right choice: Do I stay or do I walk? I'm not promising that your decision will feel nice. It probably won't. But it will be the right decision, the kind you will be able to look back on with a sigh of relief and recognition that moving on was healthy and productive.

More, More, More

Good Afternoon,

I just gave a teleconference today on the topic "Is it a Sacrifice, to train to be better in life". 

We hold trainings in our company every Tuesday to rehearse situations, explore ideas, review progress and return to motivations. During these trainings we also have teleconferences like the one today.

The two greatest desires I had of this training were too focus on the simplicity of reaching our goals and the services we should be using our freedoms to create. It often feels that no matter how much we strive to accomplish something, a goal, an award, reward, recognition etc.. the greater the satisfaction we all desire, seems to elude us. Is it possible that our greatest reward is not in the destination but the journey?? Is it also possible that when the goal is solely self serving that it still leaves us with void?

 I have had a lot of opportunity to experience travels abroad with friends and see first hand the differences in our American cultures and focus verses other international cultures. It has made me really think hard about the reasoning behind the American ways of acquisition and accomplishment. In the call I did today I spoke of the one time British Empire and the mindset they once held on World domination. The United Kingdom controlled almost as much as 70% of the entire planet at one time. It amazes me to think that 3 small islands in northwestern Europe would even have the desire to stretch themselves this far, much less actually accomplish it. In America we established our independence from "tyranny" of the british crown and King George in 1776. It was with great distaste that we rebelled against over taxation and domination from a foreign land. This all makes great sense to me but what did not make great sense is why we would have done exactly the same thing to other nations once we found our ability to be strong?

It was almost like the abused child who grows up to be the abuser. It seems as if the abused would not want to ever repeat the wrong they had experienced but instead there is some impression made on the human mind that this is way it is just supposed to be. In the call today I explored just a few of the over reaching abuses that the United States embarked upon over history; The Philipino-American War, Hawaiian Government overthrown and Islands stolen, Native Americans slaughtered for the land they possessed, Slavery's abuse of an entire race and that list goes on, unfortunately.

These recognitions are not against my home nation but rather to understand what impression has been created on all of us who call ourselves Americans. There has been an attitude to conquer and acquire as much as possible and I think it is evident in many of the ways we still live today. I was thinking of a friend of mine whom I have visited in his home in Europe. His father is a political representative with high position in their country's government and holds over 30 years of tenure with their parliament. I have stayed in their home, had dinner with them several times and spent time on their boat in the mediterranean. This man of politics would be the equivalent of the United States Speaker of the house. As I thought of his prominent position I began to compare it to the way we see high political office in the United States. I thought of the simplicity of this mans home which was very nice but very modest. Do not get me wrong the home and gardens were very welcoming but there an obvious absence of the grandeur and extravagance we often associate with the same man of position in the USA.  The entire home was 4 levels with about 2400 square feet or 600 sq. feet per level. The first floor was the entry, the laundry, the mud room and some indoor storage beside the garage. The next floor was the Living room, The kitchen and the dining room all on level 2 (about 600 sq. feet). The third level was an office and the master bedroom and bath. The top floor was two bedrooms and a bathroom. 

The reason I listed all of this out was because it hit me that this very accomplished European man of politics for over 30 years, resided in 1800 sq. feet of livable space. In the United States we see so many people who continue building and expanding their home to use every last dime they possess. Living paycheck to paycheck because enough is never enough. In the last 40 years the average home size in America has grown by over 50% in square footage alone. This does not begin to touch on the upgraded conveniences we now take for granted as compared to those in homes of 1970. There is an attitude that our society has fallen into of "it's never enough". I want to become aware of the origination of this syndrome so I can understand the challenges we have as our responsibility with over working, healthcare, depression, obesity, anxiety and the list goes on! 

Do you think that there could be any connection??

I am absolutely 100% in favor of a free democracy. I am a fervent believer in capitalism and the right of each individual to work hard and succeed. What I am less confident in is the ability of most people to know when they have reached great accomplishment and celebrate it. I am also unsure that as a civilization we know the reasoning for doing all that we do with our lives and talents or how to truly serve others. 

I have spent a lot of time examining the European approach to holidays. I used to think that there must be some form of insanity when everyone just takes an entire month off each summer. How do they pay their bills? Is this not irresponsible?? I was speaking to the owner of a small boutique hotel in Paris and she told me to come back to visit Paris in August because 90% of the Parisians would be gone on vacation and the city has a different flavor. There are many businesses still open in the tourism areas because the capitalism we enjoy in the USA certainly has its flavor in the larger cities of Europe as well. There are many more businesses who simply enjoy the month of August in absentia with their families and resting to be better versions of themselves when they return. I now am understanding that if 90% of my customers are gone on vacation then what obvious choice would I have but to go on vacation as well?? I think the question of who is insane might have to be thought over.

Even during the rest of the calendar year I see a greater celebration of life and a pace that takes time to stop for a cafe or to read in the park. These things may stand out to me so much because I have spent my life planning and reaching goals for the reasons I thought I should but this now causes me to question. Is there a different approach? I am not one to throw all I have away and hike the himalaya's for my inner search, although it does not sound too bad at the right time of year. ;-) Instead I am one who is considering looking at myself a little harder to determine why I am doing what I am doing. How does the product of my work each and every day serve to make other people and the world around them a better place? This is the search that has become too distant for all countries and cultures. I see the hurried pace to get to each goal but do we consider why we are striving and for what purpose?

Our lives are short relative to the span of world existence and the future to come. In order to be responsible with the energy I have I want to learn where to give of it and make the most impact on other people. I have a chance to use my freedoms of choice and not whine and complain to get more but instead look and discover how to give more. As a student of history and how different cultures were created it is telling to me in every instance how service and giving creates a long lasting platform for the greater good. At the same time cultures that were controlled by or rooted in self gratification always come to an end. It is each and every individuals right to choose and each ones responsibility to choose well. 

Developing a life that was worth living is simply choosing to search out our values and then behaving with integrity regarding those choices. Our Health, Our commitments, Our opportunities are all about doing what we say we will and then doing it. Find a reason beyond you to live your life today and then be amazed at the ability you have to actually make it happen.

"We don't give to get, but all receiving begins with giving"

"Your level of integrity is the level of congruency between your values and your behaviors."