"You will either step forward into growth or you will step backward into safety" -Abraham Maslow
I read this quote BUT then questioned the word “Growth”… Don’t get me wrong I completely agree with this quote.. I
was just wondering if “Growth” should mean the same thing to everyone??
I grew up being taught a strong focus on gaining money, achievement,
image and ownership or at least those things as they are defined by a western
culture.
I have now learned that success can be interpreted as many things
but very often the culture you live in pushes you to define it in such a way
that it keeps the culture and it’s societal “rules” most relevant. Our western
culture demands “conformity” like paying taxes….. understanding our history the
same way….not questioning the system too much… not questioning the powers that
make the decisions too much…. different rules for those making the decisions…
all of which ultimately leads to less than 1% of the people controlling the
majority of our decisions…Healthcare…Food Supplies…Environmental issues….Social
behaviors…Personal freedoms…decisions that are then dictated for the majority of
the people by the few. Can you say Oligarchy? (Read “Merchants of Doubt”)
Achieving success has long been seen as a drastically different view
when you compare eastern and western cultures on all of the issues listed
above. I was talking with a close friend this morning and trying to remember that
the Image or the culture we are sold growing up is very often not the
best fit for everyone to achieve growth or success with their life. Also remembering that the western culture is not the only one existing just the one you may be most familiar with.
For my journey it was not really the culture that dictated my personal
drive to achieve many of my image based goals but rather something within me
that needed to create my “mark”. I
was so driven at times to create an image that it became blinding and when it came to gaining
my understanding of peace, love, happiness, kindness, generosity and tolerance
they were a far second place to my focus on money, accomplishment, acquisition,
control and the list goes on…..
I did not have many internal conflicts with searching out the path
of achievement because I think for my journey I really needed to choose that
route in order to find what I found for me and what I now really define as
success …which has become first and foremost… peace, love, happiness, kindness, generosity and tolerance of others. These
are my highest values behind loving myself first which leads to all of the
above. In order to give love you must find love because after all “you
can’t give away what you don’t have” - Wayne Dyer
There was a lot of rough energy (karma/dharma) I had to burn through
which was really tough on me and those around me at times throughout my journey
and even tougher to realize my highest path because of my obsessions with
accomplishment. I now look at my past with appreciation, not because it gave me
financial success or properties or security or financial freedom but because it
gave me focus!
Focus
on what really counts the most in this life.
If I had to make a choice today to give up the new values I hold..
the ones I just listed (peace, love,
happiness, kindness, generosity and tolerance of others) values that I now
hold very dear in order to create financial “Success” as western culture often demands… If that demand required
my focus to be solely on acquisition and accomplishment forsaking my current
values I could not do it. I now truly understand the value of people over
possessions but I also now know how to merge putting people first while still
meeting great goals and becoming financially prosperous.
I really think my life path was perfect for me to get where I am,
which I truly love but I have met many people who SHOULD NOT choose the path I
did because that choice will create incredible frustration in their lives. There
are many people with natural personalities and characteristics driven to put
people first over “winning” (at least the version of winning we are sold in a
capitalist culture) starting at a very young age.
If you watch little kids play there are some so focused on winning
the game, king of the hill, being recognized as the best and there are others
who just naturally enjoy playing with the other children more than the focus of
solely winning. I think it is so interesting to study the different types of
personalities and how young they start developing these natural talents. Some
are naturally focused on being the winner and yet MOST are focused on just being a part of their community and all of
these personalities are natural life path’s, which should form their best
ability to build a life filled with personal peace and success.
According to DISC personality testing less than 3% of all
personalities are naturally driven to a goal winning focus as their primary
driver while 97% have other primary driving forces. We all want to meet our
goals but honoring the best fit for you is the key to understand.
I think the greatest challenge is that our western or capitalist
culture is trying to push everyone into the same mold. Everyone should be king
of the hill…everyone should be trying to own everything… everyone should be in first
place… which is impossible and creates conflict.
I was telling a friend just this morning that I really love
traveling and moving in and out of different cities or cultures and exploring.
I am currently trying to build a portfolio of multi family real estate
properties that serve as great investments by having monthly tenants/ airbnb
income each month but also a place to go and visit for a weekend.. a week…a vacation..
a mini-vacation etc… in order to create my “Satsang” (Your “True People”…Google
it).
I can at this point afford to buy 10 - 15 unique properties that
will accommodate hospitality guests along with people living in the same
properties full time. This creates a diversified portfolio and it affords me
the ability to choose different locations I enjoy visiting. These properties
can serve as great investments while helping me realize my dream of building
community in different cities.
Much of the reason I can afford to do all of that is because of the
path I chose (primarily acquisition focus) even though I don’t want to have to focus
the way I did to get that income ever again! I understand what I did to create
this now held freedom of choice but I think there are many ways to achieve
finances and the freedom that it often allows while still having high levels of
peace.
My job is to find my peace and then help others find theirs. My job
is to remain true to my highest values and help other people learn how to honor
their highest values and not the ones their culture is pushing. My path was to
push hard in order to realize that’s not the best focus in life and now I can
see a better way of living and sharing.
My needed path was one to burn through some bad karma or beliefs in
order to find a better version of me. Instead of trying to be in “control” of
the process, If my natural path would have been to just enjoy growing with the
people around me and love being a “part” of the process it would have brought up
other weaknesses than the ones I have faced so that is “MY” journey but it is
not everyone’s journey.
Example..
Accomplishment
can create financial security but neglect kindness…
Or..
Kindness
can create great relationships but cause struggle with fears of security by
neglecting goals.
Everyone has talents and everyone has correlating weaknesses but the
main key is learning how to be you. The original you and not some fictitious
facsimile demanded by your environment. The quickest way to financial security
is not a one shoe fits all approach. The quickest way to accomplishing goals is
by being the best version of you and honoring your natural gifts not the gifts, talents or path of anyone else on the
playground even if the teacher says so…even if your parents say so…even if your
friends say so…even if your boss says so!
Every business NEEDS goal setters, people uniter’s, evidence
analytics, rule followers, master creators, visionaries, diligent workers,
faithful participants and the list goes on. None of these people is worth more
or is greater than the other and if you don’t figure that out in this life then
you missed the whole point!
Everyone should develop their path and help others along their paths
but not all must look the same. What if my path would have been different and I
would have been more naturally focused on being a “people uniter” on the playground as a child?
I hope I would have met some great accomplishers that became part of
my Satsang. I would hope they would have helped me build my financial goals
while allowing me to remain true to myself and my highest values. I also would
have appreciated them buying a few homes in different cities so I could share
in their vision with them while making room for me to participate as I gained
my success.
If they were my true people or my Satsang then I know we would have
supported each other while honoring each other in our respective paths. One
sharing their natural talents to create financial goals and another teaching us
on how to remain focused to honoring and loving people. This list could
obviously go on because the gifts of all people goes on and are so uniquely
varied but the real answer is we should all be honoring each others talents and
sharing the path.
Answer these questions for me from your perspective…
At the end of your life will it matter the most that your name be
listed on the deed of the 15 properties and that because you were so driven you
may even get a statue for birds to poop on dedicated to you?
or
Will it matter more that you remained focused on building the best
version of you, remained focused on creating relationships that shared with you
what they gained while you remained focused on building your security through
your highest values?
If you work at anything consistently enough even something you may not enjoy you can likely build financial freedoms by remaining consistent, showing up to work etc. Please don’t wait until your 50 or 60 to enjoy the freedoms from a life
that was focused on fear or expectations passed on to you by others. Don’t
forget to be you so you can choose someone else’s path to creating finances.
Earn money, become successful, create financial freedom but do it with ease by
being you and your personality not by adopting some fictitious persona because
the culture you were born in was trying to sell a one shoe fits all concept.
It is true that once you earn enough to get past your fears of
safety, financial security and savings then you could be more prepared to
create kindness, charity and openness because you have removed your fear but
you also could be so locked into a pattern of placing goals over people that
you cannot seem to change a developed destructive focus.
It is also true that if you choose to chase your highest version of
who you really are and not an “image of what everyone should be” then
it will allow you to earn the most by following your best version of your
unique self.
“Do
what you love and love what you do and you will never have to work a day in
your life” John Demartini (at least that’s who told it to me)
Everyone is not the same but everyone has great talent to create
great results. If they are not doing so then they are simply not free enough
yet to be their highest version of self and attract greater wealth,
relationships and achievements.
Build a Satsang that allows you to honor who you really are. Quit
trying to be someone else because you saw it on a magazine cover or in a movie
or because someone told you some fairy tale a long time ago trying to get
everyone to simply conform. (Read Merchants of Doubt) These fairy tales are
created so that those following them feel safe in the course they chose while
trying to sell it to others. If we are all so different then why should
everyone’s paths to “success” be so similar? It makes no
common sense when really examined so be different!
Create vulnerability and really allow people into your life. Look
for mentors, friends and lovers and let them know your visions of building your
highest self by being an original you. Let them share with you what they have
gained and created and you do the same. Make each other better and while your
at it go vacation together in the shared accomplishments of your Satsang. After
all 15 properties owned by you are not really worth much unless you have great
relationships to share them with.
Enjoy the Search - Dugger
(post comments below I would love to know what your thinking)
