Is it your reality or could you be looking at it the wrong way?

What is Reality?

Isn’t it simply ones individual perception of what exists around them? Granted we could end up in a situation that seems untenable, overwhelming, desperate or worse but does that same exact circumstance mean the same thing to all people?

I remember speaking to a friend not long ago about some fears he had while traveling in a major South American city. He expressed his absolute certainty not to return very soon because of the lack of lawfulness and crime that seemed threatening to him while visiting for a period of time. I have no doubt in his feelings or actual assessment of what he saw, felt and experienced but what if he had no choice? 

What if he was from that same city and everyday he awoke to face those exact same circumstances?

We have all heard that the human mind can endure much and I believe this to be true but it is based upon our choice of beliefs about what we are enduring. 

(Read Mans Search for meaning by Viktor Frankl)

I was just having  talk with a friend of mine two days ago about what we referred to as “baselines”. We could have interchanged the word with EGO, Identity, Personality, etc.. but we were discussing the battle between what really matters in life and what we often think matters so much in a specific moment of time, a situation or relationship. 

In our discussion we examined the knowledge we both enjoy gaining when trying to learn to be above the pettiness and obsessiveness we often get caught up in even when we know we desire “ENLIGHTENMENT” above these spaces, we often slip back into the pain that is far from it.

Enlightenment in our discussion was based upon using our lives, our relationships, our circumstances, our challenges and our opportunities to think about who we want to become. Not getting caught in or consumed by the moment but rather knowing all things are part of allowing us to learn. 

We have a finite amount of years on this earth so how we use them is about finding what makes us into better people or about hiding inside of an image or ego we have created. One choice propels us towards peacefulness and rising above our circumstances while the other choice leaves us tossing between good and bad perceptions and our feelings following the same tides.

I often think of people who have lived more years and often gained more wisdom and how they seem to not be as knotted up about the same things they once were in their youth. They seem to realize that this current circumstance or fear will eventually pass and they will remain so the choice to be consumed with negativity is simply not needed as they once thought it was. You will often see grandparents more gentle and understanding than they were as parents. You see the rat race that once consumed so many people to get more, be more, do more start to even out and bring more enjoyment to the moment they are in as they age. 

The “Baselines" my friend and I were discussing are the images we all build to begin surviving this life. As you watch small children you can notice their lack of care about clothing, hairstyles, social acceptance and yet they are free to spend hours playing in the yard feeling whatever they feel and exploring their surroundings. As we grow up and mature we learn to understand social acceptance, expectations, what is allowed for us in order to be okay with who we are becoming. Clothes, Music, Movies, Family, Friends, Schools  all begin to help define our EGO and this is the beginning of our struggle. 😫😫😫😫😫😫😫

Every human being must develop an Ego and a baseline in order to establish themselves in their respective societies. In order to begin enlightenment which is the absolute freedom to chase yourself and your desires you will have to let go of that same Ego and need for acceptance from others. 

If you really get the complexity of that game it is a bit of a head scratcher ;-)

Each of us was born with certain tendencies or the beginnings of personality traits mainly attributed to our parents and how far they have made it in their Ego battles, but the number one contributor to who we become is our environment and how we choose to embrace it. If I would have been born in Asia my understanding of “baselines” or “Correct Image" would be totally different than if I were born in Africa, Scandinavia or North America. 

If I were born in a poor situation vs a wealthy or middle income again I would see things in such different ways all predicated upon where I physically landed when coming to this planet! Crazy, Right? Environment plays such strong role in how we see things and often how we get trapped in our EGOs. I could have been lucky enough to have a more open disposition inherited from my parents that gave me a better chance at enlightenment in life or I could have been born into a situation that was filled with angst and struggle which causes me to chase even harder for my identity or security or acceptance. (the dreaded need for others acceptance)  I need to be strong enough to accept myself and my right to explore this life, who I am and in the heart of this search I will become free to understand enlightenment. 

The people I admire the most are the transcendentalists who built their lives upon going against the norms of societies, rebelling against the need for social acceptance and their dreaded “baselines” they too had once worked so hard to develop. People like Emerson, Thoreau, Shaw, Fuller, Longfellow, Alcott and even Tolstoy with limitations. These individuals gave us the teachings that inspired the more modern names we know so well like Gandhi, Ram Dass, Martin Luther King Jr, and many more but especially for me Dr. Wayne Dyer who proudly proclaimed himself as a lifelong “Disturbing Element” to all who expressed the desire for him to fit in. 

Each of these individuals found a unique voice that was not based upon getting along with social norms but rather within searching for greater meaning in their lives and helping others to do the same.

Regardless of where we end up through our search if you really want to find peace and enlightenment in this life it will begin with disregarding your "baselines" you worked so hard to build. It will begin with letting go of how things “have” to be and start seeing them for what they could be if you were more at peace with allowing yourself to be free and explore. 

The more I understand letting go of expectations, requirements and social dogma which were all created by happenstance of the very environment I was placed in, the easier it gets to just become free and search for something bigger. I spend lots of time thinking and learning and I hope the efforts I place in to finding myself today are less clouded by others need for me to validate their "baselines" and more centered on me being free enough to explore/accept myself. 

If you look around and think your in a scary place right now just realize there are other people around you who do not feel that same fear even though they face similar circumstances. They have simply adjusted their mindset which allows them to be more aware of the positives or even better they feel the enjoyment in what others call struggle. I hope these thoughts help you to consider doing the same!

"When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change"

Thanks for taking time to read and feel free to comment with any thoughts you may have had! 

Dugger