Cultural Responsibility begins with ME

What causes me to succeed beyond me?

We all have talents and corresponding areas to each talent that can be challenging. An example is "the driven goal setter" there are so many things can be said and praised for an individual who knows how to get things done and reach new goals. The challenge this personality often faces is finding an appreciation for life and the peace we all are looking for within ourselves. Another example is "the incredible communicator" who loves people and loves spending time with people. This type of an individual is usually a great encourager and pleasant to have around but they often seem to skip over the push and confrontation it often takes to move forward in accomplishing goals they may have at being able to change the world around them.

Understanding and refining our talents as individuals is always the first step to making change in our world. The second step is asking the question of how we can align and connect our talents to the talents of others around us. It is in the connection of two or more that the power to create is amplified and most enjoyable. 

Again what causes me to succeed beyond me?

This is a question that makes me think of Stephen Covey and his best selling book "7 habits of highly effective People". If you have ever taken the time to read his book you will find it is full of incredible truths that can and will make a difference in the person you choose to be if you digest them. He outlines the following 7 principles to creating successful individuals;

BE PROACTIVE

BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND

PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST

THINK WIN-WIN

SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND, THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD

SYNERGIZE

SHARPEN THE SAW

As I study each of the areas above they are daily reminders of what I need to do with the opportunities I am given. It starts with me learning to be a more diligent individual who has priorities correct in my life. I could easily spend a lot of time and words addressing each of the items above but since Covey has already done just that I will look at a different direction today. It was a little while back located in my blog that I wrote a piece called "Conduit to Greatness or Mediocrity" although these choices in the title are opposite planes and my hope is that everyone chooses the right one, it is always going to be a choice we face in every area of our life. 

Am I willing to do what it takes to be a great person, employee, employer, parent, child and every other task we take on in life. In the article I focused on the foundation we decide upon each and every day when we awake. It still amazes me how many days in my life that I have lived just getting up and going at the next task on the list. It was always a hope that I had enough sleep, that my energy was correct and that the world was aligned so that my subsequent day would be what I hoped for. Often it did not work out that way.

As time has passed I have learned that it was always completely in my control to set the stage and make the choices and create the best possibility for every day simply by starting my day with an Interval 1. This is the first part of the day that is centered on me growing through mindset, calming my expectations and exercise. I listen to many teachers and books in the morning of each day so that I know that the knowledge I will live that specific day in is greater than the knowledge of the previous day. I can now understand the compounding effect of that choice to get up and start every day in this space is extremely empowering. Interval 1 is the foundation of the structured day we are all building each and every day of this life. Interval 2 is the space where we use our developing talent to work at having our impact on the world. Sometimes this is called work, sometimes its called taking care of family and home. In other times it may be charity or giving but it is the space in which you use the natural and developed talents to keep facing new things which challenge us to become greater. The last interval is the space where we understand at a deeper level to share in the relationships we value. Family, friends and learning to appreciate the moments of celebrating a day well lived. There is much again to be said on these topics but since they were  studied in my previous piece, I encourage you to read it for further understanding.

Click here to reach that article;

http://teachmehowtoduggy-briansblog.blogspot.com/2013/11/conduit-to-greatness-or-mediocre.html

Today I want to think about the culture we are choosing to build and be a part of. I cannot help but think of how incredibly powerful it is to be surrounded by people who are encouraging and looking for ways to succeed. It lifts me and drives me to want to be better and create more. I am certain that every person reading this has had the same type of euphoric feeling that I do when surrounded by a group of people who are excited to be better than they were yesterday. The obverse is also just as true, when we are constantly choosing to be a part of a culture that drifts towards negativity or even apathy it is incredibly disabling. This is the real focus of todays writing is how to become a cultural developer instead of a cultural casualty. 

In Stephen Coveys follow up book the 8th habit he addresses many of the items that cause us to go beyond ourselves and our personal disciplines. It is a book that leads us to understand the necessity of a culture larger than myself. I am only as big as my talents and weaknesses when I try to control all, take charge of all or block the need for a culture much larger than me taking place in my life. I am and always have been a part of something much bigger than me but my EGO is constantly centering on how I get credit, how I make my mark and how do I gain praise for being great? 

All of these questions are firmly centered in EGO but the real problem is that if these items are in our lives they leave no room for a culture. EGO is said to stand for the acronym of Edge God Out which simply means that seeking out our own recognition and reward is at best a temporary road to success. It can still help us to find some success and I have worked with many people including myself who have found recognition through EGO. The challenge is that when I center all of my quest for success on me it means that all I am doing lives and dies with the 7 habits. As good as I am is as good as I will be when it begins and ends with a search that is centered on myself. Very often it sounds good on paper to not be centered on yourself but it is a very sneaky subject that we often do not realize is controlling our actions and our outcomes.

Simply ask and answer yourself honestly on the following question; 

Why do I want to succeed and who I am doing it for? 

Is it for self esteem ? 

Is it for the reward? 

Is it for personal safety? 

Is it primarily for anyone other than me?

All of the things I mention above are enjoyed things but they should not be the focus. I personally desire to have self esteem, reward and safety but what I see now more than ever before is that those are simply the absolute occurrences when you are doing what you do for the right reasons.

"I want to succeed at the opportunity to make a change in the lives of those around me."

Below is a list of key elements in the 8th habit and I ask you to pause and read them slowly thinking of how each topic relates to the people you are joined to in your life prior to considering yourself in each line. After you have centered the thought on others first then join in by seeing yourself as part of each of these concepts with others. By removing your EGO in this manner you will for a moment have the certainty of the feeling that you are a part of something larger than self and this is where true success really lives.

THE 8TH HABIT^®: FROM EFFECTIVENESS TO GREATNESS

Topics Include:

• Searching for Meaning (OUR search ..)
• Taking Charge (WE can to help whom..)
• Starting Within (WE can help THEM by..)
• Creating the Dream (OUR dream of serving whom..)
• Teaming with Others (THEY Deserve.. )
• Overcoming Adversity (For the good of WHO...)
• Blending the Pieces (THEIR talents help to build...)

The beginning of a culture starts with our willingness to sacrifice ourselves in our own thoughts first. It is a prerequisite to sustained and lasting growth as far back and as far forward as you can imagine. Are you developing a culture centered on a group of people you have connected to who can change the world? Do you see the impact as coming from you or do you see it as something you will do and others should be supporting you in your quest. Hopefully after these few words you can already realize the failure of this mindset. Every interval 2 gives opportunity for us to interact with others and an ability we have to influence a growing culture through our thoughts and actions. 

I spoke to our company recently on the topic of culture and many of the questions I asked were ones that came to me, as I grow and consider what I desire to see created in the world around me. I am confused at times because of the challenges I see in the world we live in and knowing that it is my job to find perfection in the process of changing. The culture of separation is one that makes sure we identify mistakes, create a need for fault and blame. These are normal protections of the EGO that make sure there is always a responsibility attached when things do not happen as we think they should. I am challenged by desiring to see less blame in the culture around me and knowing that it part of the process of growth which is a huge positive.

Each and every day I am linking my life to other people and it is now more than ever before that I am realizing the power of these decisions. I can be accomplished, talented and responsible with everything I could possibly do but if my culture is still based upon EGO and focusing on challenge and blame to protect that EGO then I remain limited. 

I was having dinner recently with a group of businessmen who were all very accomplished and driven. It was simply a social gathering so there was no need for too much deep thought. The table had some power players who were well aware of the subject of EGO as I would guess that the net worth at the table was close to 2 billion dollars collectively from the individuals. One of the very accomplished individuals had been a very successful litigation attorney and had become very prosperous as a result of his driven talents. As we had dinner he made a comment that rang in my ears so loud that I had to join in. He said that he had recently been scammed on an investment from a long time friend that previously he would have considered as close as a brother. He went on to speak of how he was even questioning his own judgment and not even sure at this point if he could trust his own wife and kids. You could see it was something that had really caused him pain and my first thought was "just keep your mouth shut and eat your dinner" fortunately I could not follow that thought. I spoke up to tell him that in business and life we must often look forward to examine the potholes in the road and the possible obstacles. Doing this can easily allow us to become negatively centered but not doing it can cause us to fall into some difficult situations. I went on to say that as human beings I think we must find balance by actively choosing to always look back with appreciation for all that has occurred. This includes the friend who took advantage of you. If we do not learn to see the good in all that has already played out I am not sure why we would remain motivated to create and try to give to others"

I thought a lot afterwards about being in my sixties, like this man, someday and having plenty of wealth and afraid that those closest to me might be waiting to take advantage of me. I thought also about the impact a career of litigation might pose to my outlook and belief system if I had not chosen to focus on the positives. I also thought about how hard it was for me to remain quiet when addressing this man who had been so accomplished. I told a friend recently when sharing the story that I guess I am little afraid that if I allow that attitude to exist around me for even a dinner it might somehow take effect in the culture I am building so I spoke up.

Who and how are you choosing to link your life to culture today?

What Culture to you want to be a part of? 

Is there a greater likelihood of blame or personal responsibility in your culture?

Do you find more positives or negative focus when living out your culture?

Do you think the culture you are building is more about others or is it a group of people simply looking out for selves?

The answer to these questions hold a map for you to either steer the course or make some change in direction. My hope is now more than ever to see more and more people in our culture who get WHY they do what they do and it was never for self but rather for others and in the process of being great at building a selfless culture your rewards will be higher than you ever could have hoped for.

When your Morals and your Values align success is inevitable! What are you choosing to be focused on?  That is is your value.